Nitpicking with a fine-toothed comb

Dear Co-worker,

Please allow me to clarify the difference between a fine-toothed comb and fine-tuning. People use the first phrase to mean that they're investigating something in detail. That's different than fine-tuning, or making small adjustments. When you say, "Let's fine tooth this document," it makes little sense. (Are you suggesting that we delicately chew our papers? Given the current state of the economy, Punk Tilly is affronted by such an unproductive and wasteful notion.) Please choose only one phrase and stick with it; do not change horses in midstream.

Also, do not use the word "literally" unless you really mean it. I have no doubt that you figuratively change hats between your two work roles, i.e., you completely redirect your attention from one specific task to another. I know for a fact that you do not literally change your headgear between your two roles, as if you were doffing a helmet and donning a dunce cap. Figuratively, your slaughter of the English language makes me want to gag. I literally want to run to the computer and blog after every one of our meetings.

Yours most sincerely,
Punk Tilly